


Phantom's Crackhead Group chat

by yangisbestgirl



Category: Persona 5
Genre: #fuckakechigang, Let Sakamoto Ryuji Say Fuck, Mischief, Other, Parental supervision not found, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:13:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27593237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yangisbestgirl/pseuds/yangisbestgirl
Summary: In which the phantom thieves are all mischievous coomers with gen z senses of humor. Hijinks ensue
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Phantom's Crackhead Group chat

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry akechi fans he gettin bulli a bit

_Group Chat has been started._

_Joker, Skull, Panther, stupidinari, Queen, Alibaba, Noir, Violet, and Akechi have been added to the chat._

Skull: sup yooo

Noir: hi everyone!

Panther: hey y'all 💕

Queen: Not that I mind but didn't we already have a group chat set up?

Alibaba: This one is for just chatting on opposition to phantom thieves buisness.

Violet: omg im so excited to be in your group of friends! ILY all!

stupidinari: Welcome to the group, Sumire. You are part of our group now.

stupidinari: Excuse me what is wrong with my name?

Alibaba: ur stupid, inari

_stupidinari changed their name to Yusuke._

_Yusuke changed their name to stupidinari._

_stupidinari changed their name to Yusuke._

_Yusuke changed their name to stupidinari_.

stupidinari: Are you behind this you incorrigible troll?

Alibaba: mwehehe

stupidinari: Change it back this instant or there will be severe consequences!

Alibaba: try and make me I own all of ur fucking phones

_Skull changed their name to Himbo._

Alibaba: see?

Himbo: For real?!

Panther: LMAO RYUJI

Himbo: man why does everyone pick on me?

Queen: Because you make it too easy.

Himbo: I WASN'T EVEN A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION

Himbo: back me up here ren

Joker: _Read.✔️_

Himbo: For real?!

Violet: guys please stop fighting! We're supposed to be friends!!!

Queen: This is just the way our chats tend to go. It's normal for our strange little group. 

Himbo: yeah we're not actually fighting it's more like banter y'know?

Violet: I see...

Noir: Do you guys wanna come to leblanc later? My latests crop of veggies are ready for cooking and I want you all to have some.

stupidinari: Yes. I will be there at once.

Alibaba: HAH STARVING ARTIST

stupidinari. Whatever you say, canvas.

Himbo: Canvas?

stupidinari: She is as flat as one, certainly.

Himbo: HOLY SHIT

Himbo: SHOTS FIRED

Alibaba: stupid jerk

Queen: You deserve it for going so hard on him all the time.

Violet: what kind of people am I associating with?

Joker: A collection of misfits, united by a world of decadence and oppression!

Noir: Ren you're always so poetic!

Himbo: im glad u understand what that meant bc someone has to

Panther: haha, living up to your name, ryuji?

Himbo: shut the eff up

Queen: ryuji, we are all almost adults. You're allowed to swear in our company.

Himbo: wdym?

Alibaba: you can say fuck

Himbo: fffff

Himbo: I can't do it

Himbo: I'm trying but my fingers just won't do it

Himbo: like I physically can't do it. I tried saying it out loud and my mouth won't make the sound

Himbo: ask morgana, is this something related to the metaverse?

Joker: He says you're just an idiot.

Himbo: for real?!

Noir: I don't swear except behind closed doors.

Alibaba:👀

Alibaba: what do u do behind closed doors?

Noir: I - should not have said that I'm terribly sorry.

Alibaba: don't be

Alibaba: I can imagine it already

Queen: Futaba that is inappropriate!

Joker: I volunteer as test subject.

Panther: you would wouldn't u fucking sub

Noir: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT ANN

Panther: holy shit that was a joke

Panther: I feel like I just walked in on someone naked

Joker: I have done no such things with Haru. Though the offer is on the table.

Noir: I'm so embarrassed!

Alibaba: we all knew it Noir you enjoy whipping the shadows too much to be anything but a domme

_Noir changed their name to Dommy Mommy._

Dommy Mommy: Futaba that's so obscene!!! Change it back immediately!

Himbo: I was expecting joker/crow fanfiction or something

Violet: 👀👀

Himbo: For real, violet?! That's your thing?

Dommy Mommy: As if. Akechi might be attractive but he killed my father. That tends to kill any sexual attraction.

Violet: akechi-kun did what?!!!!!

Panther: oh shit did no one tell her that?

Joker: keep your guard up around akechi, sumi. Despite his charm and beautiful face he is an unhinged serial killer.

Violet: that's heavy

Violet: but "beautiful face" though? 👀

Panther: fujoshi hours who up

Alibaba. He killed my mother too. Fuck akechi

Alibaba: all my homies hate akechi

Alibaba: #fuckakechigang

Dommy Mommy: #fuckakechigang

Violet: #fuckakechigang

Akechi: You simpletons do realize I am in this chat, right? 

Violet: omfg I'm so sorry

Dommy Mommy: perhaps that was less than tactful and for that I apologise

Alibaba: good.

Himbo: fucking savage, taba

Akechi: Tch, whatever. You all disgusted me before this conversation. Ping me when were sending Maruki the calling card.

 _Akechi has left the group_.

Violet: I feel bad.

Alibaba: don't he's a dick

Joker: jaiinkoomsi

Himbo: you okay man?

Joker: morgana nudged my phone with his face

Himbo: why do cats do that?

Joker: he wants me to tell you now that it's just just warm and smooth, and anyone, not just cats, would love to rub their face against it.

Himbo: nah man that's just cats

_ Monday, 12:00 am. _

Himbo: oh shit it's midnight already?

Joker: he wants us all to go to sleep in case we go to mementos or the palace tomorrow.

Alibaba: No way! I'm in the middle of a game here!

stupidinari: You should finish your game up and go to bed, Oracle. Morgana has a point.

Alibaba: think of all the shit we could be getting done rn! Not everyone sleeps like a cat!

Joker: Normally I would agree but I am in fact tired.

Queen: I am going to bed now.

Alibaba: so matter of fact, makoto

Alibaba: what say you ann?

Alibaba: ann?

Joker: She must have fallen asleep a little while ago. We should follow her lead.

Alibaba: suit urselves I don't have school in the morning I can just sleep in

Dommy Mommy: Good night everyone!

Alibaba: nini

Himbo: catch yall tomorrow

Joker: see y'all after class

Alibaba: fuck u inari

stupidinari: WHAT NOW?!

**Author's Note:**

> Lmk if interest in more of these ik there's a hundred p5 chatfics out there but maybe some ppl will like mine idfk


End file.
